why now?

my foot is still killing me, i am so frustrated. i have been working so hard to get my body and mind in sink. now that i know what i can do, my determination just isn't enough. it is like my body just wants to shut down. i keep thinking that the pain will go away, but it doesn't. i wonder how my peg leg will work on the treadmill after i cut my foot off?
why now?? after i have come so far am i falling apart. it isn't the first week anymore. my body had better catch up before my mind goes crazy

sexy sexy men

I watched the season premiere of the Tudors tonight. I love that show!!! sexy sexy men everywhere!!! I totally should have lived back then. They got to wear big poofy dresses and it didn't matter what you looked like underneath as long as you had big hoohas poppin out the top. I have that one down.

What's that noise?

So there is this odd noise comming from my body. It is this lovely popping in my foot. It feels like my bones are going to pop out of my foot. It is really gross and I want it to stop. There is nothing like a little grinding of the bone to make you feel like a super star! It makes it really hard to work out when there is a possibility that you pieces might fall off or explode!
well, there is always ebay......

snot be gone!

i feel much better today, at least the dizzies went away. now if i could just do something about the snot faucet! we totally kicked it into gear today. i spent 2 hours at the gym on a friday night. i have no social life!
my energy level is way down and i am worried about our morning workout. i hope i am still alive.

so my new craving is pizza, that needs to be over quick!

i am so tired i don't have much to say, yet again, and i am going to bed at 8:45. i am lame but soon to be super hot and fabulous. then i will be free to drink and be merry...then work it off my butt the next day!

feel like death

I am sick. really sick. it is horrible. i feel like my head is going to explode. my sinuses are killing me and i think i have an inner ear infection. i feel drunk, yet i have not have a tasty adult beverage in weeks. i am so p.o.ed because every time i get on the elliptical i feel like i am going to fall off bc my head is spinning. screw today being a new day, i am shooting for tomorrow.

hard

today was hard. the workout was hard. elimination was hard. hard. Wednesdays always are. tomorrow is a new day and a new week. anything can happen.

i got to see my little ray of sunshine this am. it brightened my day=)
back off Pooh Bear

i feel violently ill so i am going to try to sleep the pain away

uhh?

this is going to be short and sweet bc i worked out hard and i need sleep for my 3:30 wake up call. I love my team and i hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. it is gonna suck for someone else to leave i just hope it isn't me.

to my dear Latty, you are my sunshine, i will see you in the a.m. i hope you can sleep tonight and the excitement isn't too much for you=)

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!! may the biggest loser continue=)

gerrrr

Today was very frusterating!!! I got over it though. I am really tired of ungreatful people. I feel that I have been really nice lately which is very out of character. It is nice to get a little thanks sometime. I really don't want the B**CH to come out because that isn't good for any one. Think pleasant thoughts...i am on a beach...sipping rum..ooh yummy. Tonight's work out really helped my anger management issues, gotta love the elliptical!

I feel like death

I worked tooo hard yesterday. I now feel like death. All I have done all day is sleep. I feel so useless. I know I needed to work out today but I just couldn't find the energy. I went for a walk this morning but it was a very very slow walk. I think I pulled something in a very important place yesterday and I know I need to give it a rest but I just wish I could have done more cardio today.
I went to a friends tonight for dinner and he was nice enough to cook me a different menu than everyone else. While they had lamb and yummy garlic bread I have chicken and asparagus. It was good, but I really want some mashed potatoes and gravy, maybe some mac and cheese. My body craves carbs and fatty goodness. Is that ever going to stop?
Tomorrow is a new day! Hopefully my pieces will stop hurting and I will be able to work my butt off--literally!

Oh fun, no rain or snow

This morning was awesome! We worked our butts off! I don't know what got into me this morning but I was actually running. I WAS RUNNING!!! Where did that come from? I don't run. Never have. Can't believe I actually kept up with GI Jane. We had a really good time leading the pack. Everyone did such a great job.

I went to the gym and got in a little more cardio this evening. I can't believe I was at the gym of a Saturday night when I could have been draining a bottle of Jager. I miss my Jager friend.

Captain Oblivious

Apparently I am Captain Oblivious! I had no idea what drama was going on yesterday and I kind of liked that. I guess I was too busy passing a kidney stone. oooh fun!! I think I am like 20 pounds lighter. I always say sometimes it is better to be blissfully ignorant=)

For everyone who has completely lost their mind-- can't we all just get along. The chubby kids aren't suppose to pick on each other. We are all doing such a great job and I don't understand how anyone could possibly have time to criticize others. We should spend every moment congratulating our selves and other BIG LOSERS!!! Because we are all loosing a lot of weight and that freakin rocks!!!!!

Who was that?

Some crazy girl decided to stay on the elliptical for an hour straight this evening. I think she lost her mind. Her legs actually fell off. Poor thing, now she will never be a leg model!
BUT IT FELT GOOD!!!!!!!!

Pooh Bear-- I wonder how much they will sell for on ebay?

jealousy

I am usually excited when I go to the gym and there is something good on tv. It draws me in and I foget about how long I have been on the elliptical. This morning Saved by the Bell was on. I used to love that show! USED TO! I don't think my muscles will ever be as big as Slater's. He is just too buff. It made me sad. I felt all alone. I am green with envy and jealousy.

I got tunes!!!

Finally!!! I fixed my ipod. I am so ready to take it to the gym and rock out! I just got done loading it with some of my favs and I will be shankin my butt tomorrow!

This morning was no fun. I hate having to vote people off, especially when it is someone you really like. We have lost two incredibly kind people two weeks in a row which really sucks!

I have decided not to let any of the emotional crap bother me any more. Last week was too hard and it may sound cold, but I don't want to care. This plan isn't exactly working but I thought I would give it a shot. People are starting to act like this is a competition or something. I really love my team and I want everyone to succeed.

so.. I think I am rambling because I am deliriously tired. It is way past my bed time.

already????

It is here again.. the dreaded weigh in. I hate Wednesdays. Even if I do well, we have to send someone home. I know that we all kicked some major butt tonight at our work out and I am so proud of my team! I wish everyone luck tomorrow. For whomever goes home... be proud of what you have accomplished! ( I know I am!)For those who continue, know that you have the determination to continue and you are doing great things for your life.

I love my team and I hope everyone does well in the am!

Note... you know I am dedicated when I miss a new episode of One Tree Hill. Thanks for DVR!!!! I love that show!

are my legs still attatched?

I spent so much time on the elliptical today, I thought my legs were going to actually fall off!!! I burned some serious calories though and I am sooo ready for bed!

I think this is how I was breathing when I got through!!

Must sleep

I am soooo very tired today. I don't know what is wrong with me. I usually get a pretty big burst of energy after working out but I think my burst is busted today. I wish I had time to take a power nap--I am jealous of all the teachers on spring break.

weekend update

Kmak-- thanks so much for the song-- it is one of my favorites and it definitely fits what we are all going through.

I went bowling last night--it was awesome!

I showed my sister what a jackknife is-- I don't think she loves me anymore

I attempted to play tennis today--I am really horrible but it was entertaining!

I am having a serious problem with the lack of chocolate-- but I am working through it

I am ready to kick butt tomorrow and loose some more weight!!!!!!

GUT BUSTERS!!!!!!

Death Ensues

I worked out way too hard today. I didn't think that was possible when you are trying to get hot and sexy. I felt absolutely horrible all day and I can't wait to go to sleep. It is really sad when you are in bed at 8:30 on a Friday night. It is even more depressing that I just got home from the Saucer after watching my friends eat cheese fries and drink yummy beer. I had a piece of Trident fruity surprise. It wasn't quite the same. It is impossible to be social when you are trying to loose weight, especially since our good country revolves around food and beverage. I am going to end up a recluse but at least I know I am learning a little restraint. I had to leave quickly because I thought I was going to have a "mean girls" moment and lunge across the table for a slice of pizza. If you can't eat it, don't join em. (at least not until I have this whole self-control thing down)

Lindsay Is My Hero!!

Lindsay,
Thanks for the inspiration tonight! You really pulled me out of a rut and made me want to work as hard and as fast as my little Vienna sausage legs will go! I stayed on that beast of an elliptical for an hour tonight and I got those 5 miles in. It felt so awesome. Thank you so much for the support that you give our team and for showing us that any goal is obtainable. You just have to set one and go for it. You Rock!!!!

My New Muscles

I have been pumping some serious iron at the gym. You see, Latty told me that he will only love me if I have muscles like A.C. Slater. So I have been working extra hard. Latty you just wait and see how buff I get. Slater ain't got nothin on me!

This hurts my face!!!

I hope this never happens to any of us. Please practice safe tredding!

So NOT FUN!!!

This morning was horrible! It definitely was not fun having to loose one of our most inspirational team members. I know that I took the wimpy way out and voted to make it a tie between Andy and Greg, but this morning was an extremely hard decision and I don't think I had it in me to be the final vote to send someone home. Especially when that person has worked so hard and given our team so much support. Andy, I didn't vote for you because I don't love you. I did it because I am not strong enough to make that kind of decision. I am glad that it was a tie because both Andy and Greg mean alot to our team and we were all torn about these two being in the bottom two. OCMC and GI Jane Kelly, I am sorry to have put this decision in your hands. You can call me a wimp if you want to. I did take the easy way out, but I feel so much better about you guys breaking the tie because I know you love us all and made an unbiased decision. Thank you for all you do for us.

On a somewhat happier note, I know that some of us were dissapointed because we didn't loose as much this week as we had hope for, but we are all still rocking. We have all lost so much weight already and every person in this program should be extremely proud of themselves. I know that I have lost like 17.5 lbs. We have been doing the BL for 17 days. HOW AWESOME IS THAT??? That is a pound a day. I am so proud of myself for committing to this and gettin it done! Some of you have even lost more weight than I have. I hope you realize how well you are doing and don't stay down on yourself for one week when you only lost a couple of pounds. Look at the big picture! WE ROCK!!!!! I LOVE MY GUT BUSTERS!!!!

KMACK--> way to go miss 11lbs! Did you yack up some of your vital organs? or is it bone loss in your feet? Whatever it is keep on keepin on! You rocked it this week! Congratulations you BIG LOSER!!!!

Lindsay--> I heard what you said this a.m. We should do measurments soon! Just remember how much your support means to all of us and never doubt that you are doing an amazing job! Some day I will be able to run at 5 on the elliptical like you. Maybe I will even survive the bike at whatever crazy level that was you told me to set it at the other day. Your drive and determination astonishes me. I have alot to learn from you.

Momma Tina--> Would you please slow down!!! I almost went into cardiac arrest trying to catch up with you the other day. I know that you must have so much going on in your life with selling your house and everything, but you still find time to kick it into gear. You are very blessed to have support from your family. I really enjoyed meeting them the other day.

Baby Gene--> Thank goodness you caught up on your bloggs. I know that will take alot of stress off your shoulders and we will help you with the whole computer thing if you need it, just ask. Congratulations on your big loss this week!

Michella--> I love you! If you still lost weight this week -- thinks about how AWESOME next week will be. We are all going to deal with it. It is down to the lovely ladies! You make me giggle every day. Thanks for helping me burn extra calories!

Kim--> Who I will miss dearly! I wish you a fast recovery. I truley enjoyed your company and it kills me that you are hurting. Please call me if you need anything at all and when you are all better we can work out together any time. Know that you are definitely going to be missed.

Andie--> You are crazy and i love that! YOU make me laugh every day. You have that sweet sarcastic humor that I can totally relate to. I am so glad that you are still with us! Don't be upset that the lbs didn't fall off this week. I am sure you will kill it next week, you have every other one. You are really kicking our butts and we need you here so that you can rub off a little competative attitude on us. You drive us every day and I thank you for that.

Greg--> You rock!! I am so sad that you had to be voted off. You are a true inspiration. You have such a kind spirit and you know just how to boost us up right when our energy is starting to lag. You are a hilarious boy and I have loved every minute we have spent with you. I hope that you continue this successful path of weight loss. I can't wait to see how hot and sexy you get when you reach your goal and I know that you will reach it!!! Keep up all your hard work. You will always be a gut buster!!! Thank you for all of your love and support. I am changing your name to Good Heart Greg because you definitely have one.

D Day again

Tomorrow is another weigh in. I have to wake up for our extra early workout. I hurt just thinking about it. I know that I have lost some lbs, I just hope that it is enough. I know that every week isn't going to be a huge number, I just have to accept that. Good luck to both teams tomorrow and remember that we have all accomplished so much already!

ewwww ouchhhh

So I heard that if you don't loose at least 15lbs this week, they are going to remove one of your arms or legs to make up for it. I wonder which one I will choose?

I cried over a filet of fish

Today has been an awesome day for exercise. I worked really hard and burned tons of calories. However, it has not been such a good day for my brain. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I actually cried, like sobbed, while I was trying to eat my dinner of cod and asparagus. I was so excited because I picked out this really good looking piece of fish that had a little Cajun seasoning on it. I came home after working out and baked it. I just knew that it was going to be fabulous. Fabulous it was not. It tasted horrible. I just don't like fish and I am trying so hard to trick my taste buds. IT ISN'T WORKING!!!!!! I then began to cry like a baby while telling my sister that I wanted a hamburger. She looked at me like I was completely insane...and I think I might be. I think the lack of sleep is getting to me. Why else would I cry over a bad dinner. The pillow is calling my name. Hopefully I won't dream about cod gone wrong. I hope no one else cries about food or we might have to be in a straight jacket and padded cell together. MBLs be strong and good luck with your diets!!!

Muscle Milk Bad Chocolate Brownie Good

I don't know what is going on with me but I have been seriously craving chocolate for the last few days. I have fought off temptation but it is starting to make me feel crazy. I even had dreams about chocolate last night. I was decorating a cake for someones birthday and while I was icing it, I decided to stick my entire hand in the middle and eat it from my hand. That is so not normal. I wonder what a dream interpreter would think of that one....freak...yes I know.
I have been drinking my Muscle Milk this morning. It makes me want to yack! There is just something wrong about drinking a "smoothie" that is far from smooth. It has the consistency of water with cottage cheese in it. It is the best thing that has happened to me all day!
I worked my tush off this morning. I got my mile on the elliptical down to 10:46. That is really good for me, especially since I have Vienna sausage legs. They are so short, I swear my arms are longer.
I am glad it has turned out to be a pretty day. Me and my snausage legs are going to go for a walk at lunch. I hope everyone is having a good day so far. GO GUT BUSTERS!!!!

no more stinky feet

My laundry is all done... not folded but at least clean. I hate matching socks. I'd rather have red hot pokers in my eyes. At least they are clean though. I am sure my team can appreciate that although I DO NOT have stinky feet. Thank goodness. I am so glad laundry is done bc now I can finally go to sleep. Gut Busters I hope you are ready to kick some butt in the morning. I sure am. WHO YOU GONNA CALL?????

What time is it?

This whole time thing really has me confused. I don't like to spring forward. These days I need as much sleep as I can get. I know my whole schedule is going to be crazy messed up bc I did actually sleep this weekend. I am so not looking forward to 3am but I am ready for a good workout. I hope I get to punch something. That is what I did all weekend. I bought some boxing gloves because I have found that I am a big fan of hitting things. What a stress reliever. I have a punching bag at my apt gym and I wore it out.
Tonight I had yummy ca bobs off the grill. They had chicken, onions, and squash. It was really good. Then everyone went to TCBY. I stayed at home and did laundry. So not fair, I could sure use some chocolaty goodness.I am doomed to hang out with smelly socks instead of my friends and family.I WANT CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!!!!!!(Latty better be careful getting hostess cupcake all over his face. I am desperate for chocolate these days.)

Saturday night.....can't hang with boozy

Today was a good workout. It was awesome getting to sleep in this morning so I actually had energy when I got there. We did some circuit training and I finally figured out how to jump rope again. I worked my butt off---literally.(it is getting smaller)
Tonight I went to dinner with friends. It is really hard to decide on what to eat, so I went with the salad bar and ate all the things that were not even close to appetizing. Now I am back at a friends house playing Wii bowling. I suck at it. Everyone is starting up the jager bombs. I have to leave because I just can't hang with boozy anymore. TOOOO many calories and sugar. I can't believe I am thinking this way but I didn't eat alfalfa sprouts all week to ruin my diet on booze. I am no longer the party animal I once was.

When I was your age....

YOu always hear the older generations saying "when I was your age I walked 10miles to school barefoot in the snow." I did that today. Well, not to school or barefoot, but I definitely walked in the snow. I went to the gym at my apartment-- all the way in the front of the complex. Snow was blowing in my hoody. It was freezing, but I had to get there. That is determination.

GEEERRRRR!!

I was really ANGRY when I got to the gym tonight. That fueled most of my workout. Thanks so much Kelly for letting me vent. It helps a lot when someone from outside the situation listens. It was totally awesome to be completely distracted from the elliptical and look down to see 3 miles have gone by. I also would like to thank you for not letting me BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL as my cardio activity for the evening. You truly saved me a headache. Who knew that being p.o.ed could make for an awesome time at he gym. I kicked it into gear tonight. I hope everyone else had a good night.

Walkin with Ritz

Today on my lunch break, I left the office, threw on my kicks and went for a walk. My office is right in front of a really expensive neighborhood. I was all ritzy!! The houses are huge!!!The walk was good and it was awesome to just get away from the building and clear my head. I couldn't have asked for a better day. It is beautiful outside.

ummm..ummm..not so good

I just had lunch at Bennigan's. I walked, even though it isn't very far, that is better than wasting gas. I had a salad, a wonderful salad with the driest, nastiest chicken that I have ever consumed. The salad was really good, the chicken not so much. I think I did pretty good sticking to my diet, however I thought I was going to smack the server for bringing me regular instead of fat free dressing.

This morning was exciting and sad all at the same time. WOOOHOOOO!!! I lost another 7lbs. BOOOHOOO!!! We had to vote someone off. It is going to be hard to watch our team shrink. The shrinking of the spare tire is good the shrinking number of team members is going to be upsetting. We all are going to have a huge conflict of interests. Of course we want to still be in the game with fewer players but we don't want people to leave. We are all big losers. You should see our dance moves...that is all the proof you need.

I am super excited that Christine from the Food Fighters didn't get eliminated this week. I know she wasn't happy with her results from the 1st week but it seems that she is on the right track now ready to rock and roll. I hope she makes a kickin come back. It is never fun to feel like you are behind in the beginning. So good luck to her and the rest of her team....so long as they aren't beating me=)

What to eat, what not to eat? That is the 5k$ question.

I am staaaaarving!!! I think my stomach is biting at my backbone! I am starring out my window at work wondering if Bennigan's actually has anything that I can eat without busting my diet. I sure hope so. In the hustle of trying to get out of the house this am and get to training and work on time I forgot my lunch. This is the hard part. Off to nutrition facts I go.

Dooms Day II

Tomorrow is our second weigh-in. I know that I have lost more weight but I just hope that it is enough. We haven't been doing this very long, but we are all getting closer. It is hard to say that you hope one of your team members is going to fail because we do all really want to loose weight and we do care about each other. I don't want anyone to go home, but I truly do not want it to be me. I am not ready to leave and hopefully I have done well enough to stay in the game. We are all still pretty confused as to how this whole thing is going to go so we don't really know what to expect. I would say that I am incredibly anxious and that I am not going to be able to sleep, but 3 am is kickin my tushy!!! Sweet Dreams! Good luck to everyone tomorrow!

The Cookie Monster!!!! AHHHH!!!!

So I moved to a new branch location today. Thank God! I don't have to sit in a grocery store and stare at the candy isle any more. This is really going to be the saving grace of my diet. I thought that there would be not temptation at my new location, however, the girl that sits next to me is offering everyone these big smooshy cookies. I wanted to bang my head against the wall! I have now named her the "Cookie Monster."
I just wanted to share with everyone a little quote that I read this morning.
"If you're going to doubt something, doubt your limits."--Don Ward
The Gut Busters have no limits!!!! We are rockin!!!!!

Rollin on the River

I really enjoyed working out downtown today. It was very peaceful down by the river. Our two hour session was quite demanding but a nice change with the beautiful scenery.I wanted to push myself hard but it was obvious that myself like many others were feeling the affects of the weeks hard core training. My knee is killing me and it is so stressful not to be able to push yourself to the max. I took it kind of slow on some of the exercises and I hope that I will be back at 100% by Monday ready to kick some butt.